Unconditional

I didn't fall in love with you because I needed you or because I needed to feel being loved. I didn't fall in love with you because I needed someone to hold or cherish in my day-to-day life. From the moment I met you, everything stopped and your voice was the only thing I hear. I never saw it coming.. how you became someone who is so important that I was scared to even have the thought of losing you.

Every time I was with you, I felt home and safe. I wanted to make you happy and contented for the rest of our lives. It was a thought I never knew would even cross my mind because you were doing so much for me and you didn't even know it.

However, as time went on, you slowly drifted away and the saddest part was I couldn't do anything to stop it from happening. You left and moved on and I was left where I was. I couldn't move as if time was frozen and my heart was breaking. I was trying everything to stop my world from crumbling. Waking up everyday with the thought of you not here with me anymore was hard. As I silently cry feeling my heart breaking, know that you will always have a place in my heart whether I like it or not because I have never felt such feeling when I was with you. And although this is tearing me apart, I try to smile to put up a front so that you won't see how broken I am.

Heart-breaking but worth to share

I heard this message today saying: "They said you will fall in love three times in your lifetime" and it hit hard because it got me thinking...

The FIRST one is called puppy love, the fairy tale love. It's when you first experienced all the sparks and goosebumps. The time when you are willing to give everything, wear your heart on your sleeve. This is usually the type of love that hurts you for so long that you thought you have given up on trying because fairy tales do not exist.

but then...

You love for the SECOND time called the intense love. This is when you have learnt from your first and you have built yourself whole. It's the one you thought will last turning your world upside down that may even cost you everything. And when the worst has happened and it ended, this lingers longer than your first. You will feel your heart breaking into a million pieces that you thought you might even be dying. This is what will cause so much pain that most people will find it hard to get back up again.

however, here's the thing...

When you love for the THIRD time, this is when you love unconditionally. It's the one you didn't see coming. It's when you will feel secured and willing to let everything go because everything feels right. The one love that when you already know what you want and makes you feel at home.

If you are reading this, you are lucky if that person loves you in these times. Make sure you treasure them as they do to you. But, if you have loved past the third time and it didn't worked...focus on self love. Focus on self development. I know it is hard because I have felt how it feels to lose the third love of your life. Your world may seem like it's crumbling down and you want to scream but there's no sound when you do. Your eyes have tears that just falls endlessly until your they are red and puffy.

It may not be the best time to tell you that there is someone out there for you because reality is, it is hard to find a genuine person who will treasure you. As heart breaking as this time would be, pray and tell yourself that everything will be better. Channel your energy to self development because no one else in this world knows your worth more than you and even though it's hard and you are already in pieces and it may seem impossible to put yourself back together, be that piece of yourself that will become the strongest so that when the time comes that you have successfully built yourself to a better version of you, know that you are more priceless than anything in this world has to offer.

Thoughts for the day

 Life is hard. If it was easy, then there would be no reason for us to continue to exist.

A part of me believes that love is all about the right timing. However, when you fall, and I mean when you fall really hard, nothing matters. All of your undivided attention will be for that one person whom you truly care about. The problem is if that person will reciprocate.

A wise friend told me before, we can only have one - career or love. The rational part of me agrees that we should always choose career. Why? because, it will never leave you until you do. If you choose love and it ends badly, you will lose yourself and worse, everything around you. Then again, there are people who can attain both. Not perfectly, but can balance it and they are lucky because they found someone who can walk with them the same path, who can support equally.

You are not an option

 Never let yourself be an option for somebody else. Relationships should be built through trust and faith regardless of your beliefs.

I applaud that you have loved a person truly and openly that you gave everything that you can. But, know that there are better things for you out there and the only person holding you back on attaining those positive things is yourself.

I have this friend who recently broke up with his girlfriend but after three months of their break-up, she wanted him back. The answer was so obvious when he asked me what he should do. I told him, you have lived without her for the past three months and you've been trying your best to get yourself back together so that you can move forward with your life. Do not go back to that person. Harsh as it may sound, there is a reason why they are called an "ex". They are those people who came to your life but the relationship didn't work out because there were a lot of things that lacked in your attachment. Do not call it a mistake but rather a lesson that you have to be thankful for because through our lives, we would get to know ourselves better through experiences. As they say, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. So try your best to look at the bright side of things and with faith and belief in yourself, you will be surprised of the better person you will become :]

Only the Inevitable

There is a saying that goes: "There is no such thing as a coincidence, only the inevitable."
I do believe that there isn't such a thing. I'd rather believe in what is currently happening.

We meet people depending on different circumstances. Some are there to stay as friends, some more than friends, while others are just people you meet in the journey of your life.

When you meet a new person, the most common thing that happens is you introduce yourselves until you find something in common to start a conversation going. Rarely does it happen to meet someone whom you feel like you know for the longest time.

My heart is crying

Caring for other people besides yourself is natural. Other than family, sometimes it gets complicated. There are many times in our lives that we find ourselves falling for a person, only to find out that they are in a relationship with somebody else and did not even bother to mention it. This is reality and the truth sometimes hits you hard. No matter how strong of a person you are, you can hear your heart crying in situations like this.

I met this guy a couple of months back and we clicked immediately. We had almost everything in common, be it food, hobbies, or activities, even music. It is rare to find someone like this. The more we spent time together, the more I found myself falling for him but I never mentioned it. Why? because our body language shows we are open to one another and that's where it gets crazy. However, it came to a point that things lately have been really great but we never moved forward on anything nor discussed it. To make matters worse, I accidentally found out that he is seeing someone else that his parents fixed for him. He isn't interested in that girl but they are in a relationship and his friend couldn't understand why he bothers to be with her in the first place. As complicated as this is, it tore my heart when I heard of it. 

Just when you thought that things are going pretty well, you end up slamming onto a wall. Before this gets further, I must back off and vent these feelings onto something else to help myself move on. We are still friends and he is just as confusing as ever on how he treats me apart from other people. But, that's how complicated situations are. You may find yourself stumble over obstacles but try getting back up and continue to move forward. Happiness can be found when you let yourself free and accept the truth no matter how hurtful it may get. It could be that you may have found the person you'd want to spend your life with but the timing is wrong. Don't worry, believe that there is someone or something out there better for you. Just pray and wait. Don't let yourself fall into depression over a situation you can come out strong with acceptance.

Make some room in your heart

Growing up, we meet people everyday who may or may have not any significance in our lives. Influence from people around us helps us  understand the true meaning of life itself but sometimes, the problem is that most people get blinded by their emotions that they fail to move forward.

I have known people who mingle with others for the sake of finding that right connection. ultimately, the idea boils down to finding your life partner to grow old with. The notion of being single is sometimes overrated to a point of being frowned upon. I have observed through the years of my life that finding someone who you can be intimate with is one of the hardest challenge in life.

When a person is struck by Cupid's arrow, heightened emotions are being felt that any person would do everything to keep that great feeling. We all love in many forms that people end up being blinded by their love to another. This idea of becoming blind because of love happens when someone truly opens their heart for somebody else. To share their entire world, giving everything that they can even go as far as trying to obtain things beyond their limits. Often, we would hear the words "That is love". But is it truly?

In my opinion, love is one of the greatest feeling in this world but when you love, make sure you have reservations for yourself. It's not that it's wrong to give you heart to somebody else but until you are sure that they are truly the right person for you, do not forget to also love yourself. We may not know when we can be hurt to a point where you would question your own existence and even why you loved another in the first place. There is nothing wrong with you when it comes to loving another. What's wrong is that when a person gives everything in one go, it may end up to the situation that the other person won't be able to handle it, or worse, grow tired of it.

So the next time, you fall in love, remember to hold back yourself a little. Make room for you to love not just another person but also yourself.